It vs They/Them – What’s the Difference?

Marcus Froland

In the world of English, small words pack a big punch. Take “it” and “they/them”, for example. At first glance, they seem simple enough. But as you start to use them, you quickly realize there’s more to the story. These little words can make or break the clarity of a sentence, influencing how we understand what’s being said.

So, why do these tiny titans of grammar cause so much confusion? The answer lies in their usage and the contexts they thrive in. Knowing when and how to use “it” versus “they/them” can elevate your English communication in ways you might not expect. But here’s the catch: mastering this aspect of English is no walk in the park.

The main difference between it and they/them lies in their usage to refer to subjects. It is used for a single object, animal, or idea that is not human. For example, “It is raining” or “It is a beautiful painting.” On the other hand, they/them are used when talking about multiple objects or people. They also serve as singular pronouns for individuals who prefer gender-neutral terms. For instance, “They are going to the movies” can mean a group is attending, or “I met Alex; they are new here” refers to a single person. Understanding this distinction helps in using them correctly in sentences.

Understanding Pronouns in Modern Language

Pronouns in modern language are integral to self-identification and respectful communication, serving as a simple yet powerful way to affirm someone’s gender identity. GLAAD emphasizes the importance of pronoun usage in conveying acceptance and respect. The use of correct pronouns is akin to pronouncing someone’s name correctly, ensuring that individuals feel seen and recognized for who they are.

Language is not static; it evolves with society, adapting to encompass new identities and experiences. As society has grown more aware of transgender and nonbinary individuals, it has led to the advancement of gender identity terminology and a deeper understanding of pronouns in cultivating a culture of equality and respect.

“Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.” – Rita Mae Brown

To foster inclusive communication and create connections, consider these essential aspects of pronoun usage in today’s world:

  1. Understanding personal pronouns: Personal pronouns (he, she, they, etc.) are used to refer to people without constantly repeating their names. Being aware of an individual’s preferred pronoun enhances empathy and inclusiveness.
  2. Affirming language: Utilizing affirming language, such as using someone’s chosen pronouns, validates and acknowledges their gender identity.
  3. Inclusive communication: By actively seeking to understand and use correct pronouns for everyone, it sends a message of acceptance and respect, contributing to an inclusive environment.

In embracing modern language and its nuances, we create a compassionate and understanding society that acknowledges and respects the diverse experiences of those around us.

The Singular and Plural Nature of Pronouns

The English language has a rich history of pronoun usage, particularly the singular ‘they’, which has been adopted as a practical and inclusive solution for gender anonymity in writing and speech. Understanding the historical context and cultural variety in pronoun usage reveals the flexibility of language and the importance of acknowledging diverse gender identities.

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The Historical Journey of Singular ‘They’

Long before it gained mainstream recognition, the singular ‘they’ had already been used in literature by esteemed writers like Shakespeare and Chaucer. Its employment in such classic works served as an early testament to the pronoun’s longstanding place in the English language.

“Some’s come a-wooin’, that’s what they say.” – William Shakespeare, from Much Ado About Nothing

Modern-day usage of the singular ‘they’ has transcended its original function and evolved to encompass nonbinary identities and gender fluidity. Its widespread adoption by the transgender and nonbinary communities led to its official inclusion in reputable dictionaries such as Merriam-Webster, proving that language can adapt to accommodate societal changes and diverse gender constructs.

How Different Cultures Impact Pronoun Usage

As language evolves, so does pronoun usage across cultures. Cultural language diversity greatly influences the labels and conceptions of gender, leading to many variations in gender identity terminology. The Western and U.S.-centric perspective on gender identity terms may differ vastly from those used in other societies across the globe.

  1. Two-Spirit: A term used by some Indigenous North American cultures to describe individuals who embody both masculine and feminine traits.
  2. Hijra: A term used in South Asian countries to describe individuals who identify as transgender or third-gender.
  3. Sworn Virgins: In traditional Albanian culture, women can choose to live as men, taking on the social roles and responsibilities typically associated with men. They are referred to as ‘burrnesha’ or ‘sworn virgins.’

By considering these diverse cultural perspectives, we can better appreciate the changing landscape of pronoun usage and gender perception, underlining the importance of respecting and acknowledging this diversity in language.

Gender Identity and Pronoun Etiquette

Understanding and adhering to proper pronoun etiquette is fundamental to recognizing and respecting gender identity. Personal pronouns serve as affirmations of individual identities, especially for transgender and nonbinary individuals, during times when they encounter increased discrimination and legal challenges. By correctly using a person’s chosen pronouns, you communicate acceptance and respect, supporting their sense of self.

In both personal interactions and more extensive communicative practices, society is increasingly acknowledging the importance of pronoun etiquette in everyday life. For example, introducing personal pronouns in email signatures is becoming more common as a means of promoting gender identity affirmation in the workplace.

Respecting an individual’s pronouns is just as important as pronouncing their name correctly. It shows them that you acknowledge their identity and are willing to make an effort to validate their experience.

To implement pronoun etiquette and ensure proper recognition of gender identity, consider taking the following actions:

  1. When meeting someone for the first time, share your pronouns and ask theirs. This practice normalizes the conversation around pronouns and avoids making assumptions about someone’s gender identity.
  2. Include your pronouns in your email signature, social media profiles, and name badges at conferences or events. Doing so helps create a more inclusive environment and increases awareness about pronoun usage.
  3. When unsure of someone’s pronouns, use gender-neutral language (e.g., “they” instead of “he” or “she”) or ask for clarification politely. Remember that it’s better to inquire than to assume and potentially misgender someone.
  4. Respect people’s pronoun preferences and adapt to any changes they may make over time. Gender identity is not always static, and being flexible demonstrates your commitment to inclusive communication.
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Maintaining proper pronoun etiquette is a crucial aspect of acknowledging and affirming the diverse range of gender identities present in today’s society. By embracing inclusive language and respectful communication, you show your support and contribute to a more empathetic and understanding world.

Pronouns in Action: Real-Life Applications

Utilizing pronouns accurately and respectfully within everyday conversations is essential in fostering a more inclusive and connected society. By actively learning about and applying inclusive language habits, we can take small yet impactful steps in our daily communication to honor and validate the identities of those around us.

Introducing Pronouns in Everyday Conversations

When meeting new people, sharing personal pronouns is not only a way to normalize their use, but it helps avoid assumptions about an individual’s gender identity. As a best practice, you can gently incorporate your pronouns by stating them before asking someone about theirs. Doing so creates an atmosphere of trust and openness, making it easier for everyone to engage in respectful conversations.

Example: “Hi, my name is Alex, and I use they/them pronouns. What pronouns do you use?”

Remember, diversity in pronoun usage reflects the uniqueness of each person’s identity. By introducing pronouns in everyday conversations, you’re actively contributing to a culture that respects and uplifts all individuals.

Avoiding Pronoun Pitfalls: Common Mistakes to Evade

As you work towards building inclusive language habits, it’s essential to be aware of common pronoun errors and how to avoid them. Here are some conversational pronouns mishaps and their corrections:

  1. Misgendering: If you accidentally refer to someone with incorrect pronouns, quickly apologize and correct yourself without drawing excessive attention to the mistake.
  2. Using conversational hypotheticals: When speaking hypothetically, avoid using gendered language. Opt for gender-neutral language like “someone” or “they” to be more inclusive.
  3. Ignoring pronoun changes: People’s pronouns may change over time, so it’s important to be flexible and attentive to these changes, fostering an environment where individuals feel seen and respected.

By avoiding these common pronoun usage mistakes and committing to respectful and inclusive language practices, both misgendering occurrences and awkward situations caused by assumptions can be significantly reduced.

Becoming competent in using pronouns mindfully is a journey that involves learning, adapting, and growing with society’s evolving understanding of gender identities. By practicing pronoun introduction in your conversations and steering clear of pronoun pitfalls, you’re positively influencing a more respectful, inclusive, and diverse world for everyone.

Exploring Gender-Neutral Pronouns Beyond ‘They/Them’

While they/them is one of the most well-known gender-neutral pronouns, there is a whole range of other pronouns, known as neopronouns, that are gaining popularity for their inclusive language. These pronouns have been embraced by the nonbinary and transgender communities as linguistic solutions that address the demand for inclusivity beyond binary pronouns like ‘he’ and ‘she’.

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Neopronouns such as xe/xem, ze/zir, and sie/hir have historical roots dating back to the 1800s, signaling the evolving nature of language to better represent diverse identities. By understanding and implementing these pronouns in everyday language, you can promote individual expression and support the recognition of a spectrum of gender identities.

To facilitate inclusivity and respect, consider the following suggestions:

  1. Expand your knowledge of gender-neutral pronouns and neopronouns.
  2. Listen carefully to how people introduce themselves and their pronouns.
  3. Practice using different neopronouns in your conversations and written communications.
  4. Correct yourself when you make a mistake but avoid making it the focus of the conversation.

Language plays a critical role in our understanding of gender and identity. Embracing neopronouns as part of your linguistic toolkit demonstrates a commitment to inclusivity and the recognition of the diversity of human experiences.

The growing acceptance of gender-neutral pronouns and neopronouns in conversation and writing fosters a more inclusive, respectful, and connected society. By expanding your understanding of these linguistic options, you can contribute to a world that recognizes and embraces the full spectrum of gender identities.

Cultural Shifts in Gender Perception and Language

Media representation of nonbinary individuals has played a significant role in influencing language usage and the way society perceives gender. It has enabled the public to broaden their understanding of the spectrum of gender identities. As nonbinary figures become more visible in the media, interest in gender-neutral pronouns increases, contributing to more inclusive language shifts that better represent diverse identities.

Due in part to improved nonbinary media representation, society is reevaluating its beliefs on gender and expanding its connotations. When the media portrays nonbinary individuals, it affirms their existence and allows for their voices and experiences to foster understanding. This increased visibility positively influences public opinions and encourages greater acceptance of diverse gender identities.

As cultural perceptions of gender evolve and progress, so does language. The continual integration of inclusive, gender-neutral pronouns in daily communication demonstrates a significant cultural shift in recognizing and respecting the numerous gender identities that exist. Nonbinary media representation serves as a catalyst for this change, as people become increasingly aware of the importance of language in affirming individual identity and fostering an inclusive society.

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