Married to or with? Which is Correct? Exploring Marital Grammar

Marcus Froland

English is a tricky beast of a language, full of nuances and tiny details that can change the meaning of a sentence in the blink of an eye. One common stumbling block involves describing the state of matrimony. Do we say someone is married to someone else, or are they married with them? And what about phrases like “be married” and “get married”? It seems straightforward until you’re halfway through writing a wedding invitation and second-guessing every word.

The answer might surprise you, and it’s not as black and white as many think. The choice between ‘to’ and ‘with’, along with when to use ‘be’ or ‘get’, hinges on subtle context cues and traditional usage—details that are often overlooked. If you’ve ever found yourself pausing mid-sentence, pencil hovering over paper or cursor blinking on screen, wondering which preposition to use, then this discussion will shed some light on your dilemma. But be warned: The conclusion might not be what you expect.

In English, when you’re talking about two people who have gone through a wedding ceremony, you usually say they are married to each other. So, if John and Jane tied the knot, you’d say “John is married to Jane.” The word “with” isn’t used in this context. However, when discussing the action of getting married, both “be married” and “get married” work fine but mean slightly different things. Saying “They will get married” focuses on the wedding event itself. On the other hand, “They will be married” suggests entering into the state of marriage. So remember, it’s usually “married to” someone and both “be married” and “get married” are correct depending on what aspect of marriage you’re talking about.

Understanding the Correct Use of ‘Marry’ in English

Properly using the verb “marry” in English can be tricky for some, as it has both an active and passive form. By following a few simple rules, you can grasp the grammatical use of “marry” and communicate marital concepts more accurately.

In active sentences, the transitive verb “marry” takes an object, which is the person you marry, and does not require a preposition. Some examples include:

  • I want to marry someone special.
  • He married Jane last year.
  • Peter is going to marry Jessica.

Marital concepts can also be expressed using the passive voice. Here, “be married to” is the appropriate construction when indicating the name of the spouse. For example:

I am married to Susan.

They will be married to each other next month.

Note: It is essential not to confuse “be married to” with the incorrect usage of “be married with,” which is a common mistake.

Understanding the different forms and uses of “marry” will help you marry correctly in English and avoid typical misconceptions.

Form Example Explanation
Active He married Jane last year. “Marry” is a transitive verb and does not require a preposition.
Passive He is married to Jane. Use “be married to” in passive voice when mentioning the spouse’s name.

Mastering the use of “marry” in English reports or conversations will help you convey the intended meaning and steer clear of potential misunderstandings. Keep practicing, and with time, you’ll become adept at using the verb “marry” in all its forms.

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‘Be Married To’ vs. ‘Be Married With’: Clarifying the Prepositions

In this section, we’ll discuss the role of the prepositions ‘to’ and ‘with’ in marital expressions and how they influence the meaning of sentences related to marriage. These prepositions can cause confusion, especially for non-native English speakers, so understanding their functions and usage is crucial for clear communication.

The Role of ‘To’ in Indicating a Partner

In English, the preposition ‘to’ is used with the passive construction of the verb ‘marry’ to denote the person to whom one is married. When you want to talk about your partner in the context of a marriage, you should use the phrase ‘married to.’ For example:

“I was married to George for six years.”

“I am getting married to Jane in February.”

The passive voice is often used with the auxiliary verb ‘get’ to describe the wedding ceremony or the act of becoming married, such as in the following example:

“They are getting married to each other next month.”

When to Use ‘With’ in the Context of Marriage

On the other hand, the preposition ‘with’ is reserved for adding details about the state of marriage or specific context. It is NOT used to indicate the person one is married to. Instead, ‘married with’ is used to provide extra information about the marriage. For example:

“She is married with two children.”

“He is married with a mortgage and other financial responsibilities.”

Using ‘married with’ to mention a partner is incorrect, as seen in the following example:

 

Incorrect: “Jane is married with Paul.”

 

The correct expression would be “Jane is married to Paul.”

In summary, ‘married to’ serves to indicate a partner in a marriage, while ‘married with’ simply adds additional context about the state or circumstances of the marriage. Keeping these distinctions in mind will help you choose the correct prepositions for your marital expressions.

Active vs. Passive Voice: The Implications for ‘Marry’

Understanding the grammatical voice in marriage and its respective implications can significantly improve your clarity and accuracy in expressing marital relationships. Both the active and passive voice impact the accurate use of “marry” in English, with each having unique applications and nuances.

In the active voice, no preposition is required with “marry,” whereas, in the passive constructions, “married to” is used when naming a spouse. The passive voice can be employed to emphasize the ceremony or the state of being married.

Let’s take a closer look at the distinct differences between the active and passive voice and their marry implications:

  1. Active Voice: The subject performs the action, offering a straightforward and clear expression. Here, the verb “marry” is a transitive verb that does not require a preposition when used in active sentences. For instance:
  • “Jenny marries Robert next month.”
  • “They married in a beautiful garden ceremony last year.”

With the active voice, the focus is on the individual and their initiation of the action. The speaker’s intentions and thoughts become more apparent, as the message is delivered directly and concisely.

  1. Passive Voice: The object of the action becomes the subject of the sentence, creating a slightly more indirect expression. This grammatical structure is employed to emphasize the ceremony or the state of being married. Examples include:
  • “Robert was married to Jenny for five years.”
  • “Sarah and John are getting married in a church.”
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Using the passive voice effectively can help highlight essential aspects of the relationship or the marriage ceremony. In doing so, it adds depth and meaning to the statement without compromising the accuracy of the marital relationship’s portrayal.

Take note of the proper use of prepositions when employing the passive voice:

Correct Usage Incorrect Usage
They were married to each other for 15 years. They were married with each other for 15 years.
Anna was married to Mark for 10 years before they got divorced. Anna was married with Mark for 10 years before they got divorced.

By understanding the differences between the active and passive voice, you can avoid common inaccuracies and confidently convey the intended meaning behind marital expressions.

‘Get Married to’ or Just ‘Get Married’? Navigating Wedding Talk

As you prepare to embark on a lifelong journey with your partner, you might find yourself caught in the complexities of wedding vocabulary. Should you be specifying your partner in marriage when discussing the ceremony? Let’s explore the differences between “get married to” and simply “get married.”

‘Get Married to’ Someone

When you opt for the phrase “get married to,” you focus on the relationship by specifying the partner in the marriage ceremony. For instance, you may say, “I got married to Justin” or “Melissa is getting married to Chris.” Importantly, using “get married to” does not imply any gender preference, and the same form is used for both male and female partners. This choice of expression solidifies the bond between the couple, emphasizing their commitment to each other.

The Simplicity of ‘Get Married’ Without Mentioning a Partner

On the other hand, using the term “get married” without mentioning a partner simplifies the statement and can focus on the wedding itself or one’s own marital status. Examples of this include statements like, “I got married in Las Vegas” or “They are planning to get married in June.” By leaving out the spouse’s name, the focus shifts from the relationship to the event or the individual’s marital status.

Both “get married to” and “get married” have their unique uses and appeal, depending on the emphasis you wish to place on your relationships or the wedding ceremony itself.

  1. Use “get married to” when you want to highlight the relationship with your partner.
  2. Choose “get married” when the focus is on the wedding event or your marital status, without specifying your spouse.

Mastering the correct use of “get married to” and “get married” is essential for accurately expressing details about your upcoming wedding or your marital status. Understanding these nuances will enable you to discuss your special day or relationship with clarity and confidence.

The Cultural and Formal Nuances of Marital Status

Marriage expressions and the ways we discuss marital status are shaped by both the cultural and formal nuances embedded in our societies. Cultural variations play a significant role in how marriage is portrayed, influencing how we talk about our relationships, plan our weddings, and acknowledge different types of marriages. In this section, we’ll explore some of the key cultural and formal factors that influence marital expressions and language.

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Engagement practices vary across cultures, revealing different ways of expressing commitment before marriage. For instance, in traditional Indian culture, the roka ceremony signifies a couple’s commitment in front of their families, whereas Western engagement customs often place emphasis on the exchange of rings and a marriage proposal.

Wedding planning also varies widely, with diverse customs shaping the events leading up to and during the wedding ceremony. For example, in Jewish weddings, the chuppah symbolizes the couple’s commitment and serves as the ceremony’s focal point, whereas Japanese Shinto weddings typically involve a series of rituals, including the san-san-kudo, where the couple and their parents take turns sipping sake.

“The cultural and formal nuances surrounding marital status greatly influence how marriage is discussed and expressed in our everyday lives.”

Religious and civil ceremonies also bear the impact of cultural and formal nuances. In some countries, like Brazil and Italy, civil wedding ceremonies are required for a marriage to be legally recognized, while religious ceremonies are optional. Other countries, such as Spain, offer more flexibility, providing the option to have a civil or religious marriage.

As society evolves, so too do our marriage expressions. Same-sex marriage, for example, has become more widely recognized and accepted around the world. As of 2021, 29 countries, including Canada, Australia, and parts of the United States, have legalized same-sex marriage. Non-traditional weddings also showcase contemporary cultural nuances, with couples choosing to break with traditional customs and host weddings that better reflect their own values and lifestyles.

Country Legalization Year of Same-sex Marriage
Netherlands 2001
Belgium 2003
Spain 2005
Canada 2005
South Africa 2006
Sweden 2009
United States 2015
Australia 2017

Understanding the cultural and formal nuances of marital status and marriage expressions allows us to better appreciate the diverse ways that individuals, couples, and societies approach and celebrate marriage. As our understanding of relationships and marriage continues to evolve, so too will the language and expressions that accompany these significant life events.

Common Pitfalls and Misconceptions in Marital Language

When discussing marriage and marital status, it’s essential to be aware of some common marital language pitfalls and misconceptions in marriage terminology. This can help you avoid confusion, embarrassment, and misunderstandings, as well as ensure that your messages are accurate, appropriate, and clear.

One common mistake people make is using the incorrect preposition in the phrase “married with” instead of “married to.” For instance, saying “Lisa is married with Steven” is incorrect; the correct form is “Lisa is married to Steven.” Using the wrong preposition can cause confusion and may lead to misunderstandings about the intended meaning of your sentence. Keep in mind that the correct preposition when talking about the person one is married to is “to.”

Another common misconception involves mixing up the active and passive voice in marital expressions. For example, someone might say, “I married to someone,” which is incorrect. Instead, it should be “I married someone” in the active voice or “I am married to someone” in the passive voice. Recognizing the difference in meaning between active and passive voice can help you prevent marriage expression mistakes and improve your communication about relationships and marriage in general.

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